We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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