these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
