i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
