Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
