so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Michael Bay diarrhea
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
