you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
