i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
