there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize