the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
