You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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