Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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