i love accidental penises.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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