god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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