So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
