Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
