I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I enjoy the company of your penis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize