So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
