we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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