i can't believe i had my finger in that
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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