I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the day after is always just damage control
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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