That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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