the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im holly from the hills drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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