do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
