If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
