Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
