When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
