Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
