either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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