Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
