I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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