just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
