Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
