You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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