This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
