you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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