what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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