I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
