shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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