So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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