I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
