You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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