i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
