Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
