You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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