At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
