My brain says no but my pants say off.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
