I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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