he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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