i can't believe i had my finger in that
there was a trapeze. enough said
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
