You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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