whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
