I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
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Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize