As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
how drunk are you?
Several
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
