im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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