I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
