Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
