so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
