I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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