JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Enjoy the penises
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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