I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
