therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
