I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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