Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
