Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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