So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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