Me. At least after what I've been through.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
