He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have post one night stand depression
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